We as people are a lot more similar to each other than we actually think. But that's not how we always view things as we go through our everyday lives. We are often scared of people: scared of messing up, timid to approach people and say something embarrassing, scared of not performing to the best of our abilities in front of others. We are often scared of new things, new situations, and especially new people. We see a person we've never met before as different, and that affects the likelihood of striking a new conversation.

Consequently, this hesitation greatly reduces our ability to form new alliances and expand our network of key contacts. We have the ability to create success and opportunities for ourselves, depending on how often we take a step outside of our comfort zone and approach someone for the first time. How can we overcome this?

Everyone is trying to accomplish something higher than themselves. Everyone is still making the effort to live out their lives because there is at least one aspect of their life that is important to them and gives them energy and motivation to keep on living.

Find that thing. Find all of those things in everyone you meet. The more you ask about, and listen to, the things that people treasure most, the quicker you get to their heart, and the more you earn their trust.

Find out what people are trying to accomplish, and use your skills, values, and strengths to help that person reach a higher level of living. That way, they can strengthen that bond with that important part of their life that they value so much.

Today, whenever I approach a person for the first time, whether it’s a sales prospect, a random person, or even someone I already know, I know that there are 4 things I can ask about that will automatically strengthen the bond and trust I have with that given person:

Family

Who is important in this person's life? What role do these people play? Is the person married or have parents, have kids, grandkids, siblings or nieces and nephews? If you ask a classroom who the biggest mentor is in each of their lives, 90% will say parents or some family member. Even if this person has no family members they are close with, they at least have a close friend or someone they confide in emotionally. Talking about this will definitely break the ice.

Occupation

Most people work 40 hours a week, so their job is a big part of what they spend their time on. But the most important thing to figure out here: do they actually enjoy it or not? Does it provide them positive energy? What impact has the job made on this person's attitude and outlook on life - find out both the good and the bad. Sometimes if a person is struggling with depression because of their job, having someone like you to talk with could really allow you to develop a deep relationship with this person.

Recreation

Outside of work and family, what does this person like to spend their time doing? Are they active and like to play sports or workout? Do they enjoy learning or studying different topics outside the scope of their job? Find out their hobbies - this can allow you to possibly connect on something and spend more time with this person.

Dream

Your goal here is to find out if there is anything this person is working toward that is greater and higher than himself or herself. Is this person looking to advance at work and earn a promotion? Start a business? Lose weight and become healthier? Use what people say here and cater your skills and capabilities to help them achieve something they don't have currently.